Wonder of Wonders

 

So we went and saw Wonder Woman on Tuesday, something my situational anxiety almost stopped because of a pre-screening of The Mummy at our theater. A giant clump of people right at the entrance (and a line extending all the way through the courtyard and into the shopping center) almost had me turning on my heel and walking back home. But we had time for a margarita before hand, so that helped. And we watched it.

 

In a packed theater.

 

On a Tuesday.

 

Why are so many people at the theater on a Tuesday?

 

Small note, unrelated to the film itself: I hate when there’s more than 10 other people in a theater. You will inevitably have a talker, someone who can’t be bothered to turn their phone off… and worst of all: a clapper.

 

Clappers make me long for the days when chopping off hands was an acceptable punishment.

 

Now, onto my thoughts on the film:

 

Despite a dearth of advertising (at least I saw next to none), I have been incredibly excited about this movie from the moment WW dropped into the BvS trailer. (Also, did you notice she did that in this movie too? Pretty sure these guys needed her help more.) So I’m happy to say that I enjoyed this venture in the DC universe immensely.

 

Gal Gadot is a goddess. DC does not deserve her. Hell, we don’t deserve her. The difference between her character in this film and the one in BvS is a little startling. And I respect her as an actor so much for that. She portrays the slowly disillusioned young woman so well in this film that it’s almost hard to remember that she pragmatic and almost indifferent to our world in the previous appearance. If everything I’ve read so far is true, I will forever remain in awe of her.

 

The reversal of the stereotypical H/h arc was a treat. And I was very happy with (not captain america) Steve’s ability to adapt and stop trying to protect her when she clearly didn’t need it. Also, that he did so quickly

 

Not. All. White. Men. I loved the POC peppered into the background as well as those in the main group. They were there. You could not miss them. Historical fiction (in both film and books) in this country tend to give the illusion that POC did not really exist in early eras and it is asinine. (Though Chief did not make up for the blatant “disposable-ness” of Slipknot in Suicide Squad. I don’t care that it’s basically how he dies in the comics, it was an obvious kill, lazy bastards.)

 

Themyscira was lovely and gorgeous and I want a whole movie set there with all those awesome Amazonians doing Amazon-y things. Robin Wright *swoon* was marvelous and the beauty in the sheer amount of strength in that part of the cast made me incredibly happy. The only issue… I think they could have used a teensy bit more of their CGI budget on Hippolyta twist-jumping off her horse, because that was BAD. I snort-laughed.

 

Dr. Maru. Dr. Maru. Dr. Maru. A brilliant mind, influenced by a god, with the power to kill millions. I am infatuated with her as a character. If it wasn’t fiction… I’d be very worried that she’s not dealt with at the end of this film. But since it is… if they make a sequel I want her to come back so hard. Hopefully with a redemption arc. (But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t have it be another Cap ripoff and wind up with something like Zola) I love her drive, her perfectionism and her compulsion to complete what she’s started.

 

But everything has it’s own problems….

 

Ares was rolled up in one great and depressing ball of blah. He was great, because I did not suspect him. Always fantastic. But even when he went full god-mode, there was nothing really scary about him. There was a disconnect for me. His intentions didn’t feel deep enough for a god of war. But maybe that’s because so often, inhuman villains are unable to live up to the depravity of what humans themselves can create.

 

My friend Mr. Bray called him “the Junkyard God” and while that moniker takes me immediately to Hephaestus the scrappy nonsense of his armor gives no room for argument on that front. Here he is trying to seduce her over to his side and he can’t even conjure up the illusion of some bennies? The Amazons, for all that they are a warrior people, appreciate beauty. They’ve surrounded themselves by it. The first thing Diana remarks on when they arrive in London is how disgusting it is (and rightly so). And that might have helped my last point too. Evil is twice as scary when it comes to you with beauty, serenity, and seeming innocence.

 

Diana borders on the Born Sexy Yesterday trope.  And while her lack of situational intelligence is a product of the Amazon’s removal from the ever changing world, but also the ignorance her mother forced on her. (“Protecting” people by withholding information about themselves makes me so mad.) The only thing that saves this for me, is that her cultural misunderstandings are largely attributed to her common sense and commitment to justice.

 

Steve is not a sexy name (sorry if you were saddled with it). There’s no way to make screaming Steve at the heavens worthy of the passionate “this mortal I was falling in love with just died” they were going for. Also, I know it’s specific to the comics but couldn’t they have found another name? Steve-played-by-Chris was the first of the too-close-to-Cap story elements that bugged me. In fact….

 

Someone needs to take Zach Snyder aside (and yes, Allan Heinberg and Jason Fuchs, but at this point, I’m willing to blame Snyder for all of it) and ask them if it never occurred to them that setting the story in WWI instead of WWII wouldn’t fool anyone when they got to the “HUGE PLANE FILLED WITH BOMBS IS THE FUTURE” moment, or the “Sacrificial Steve” moment. There was no reason for this to suddenly feel like a Captain America ripoff. You are better than that. Wonder Woman deserved better than that.

 

 

And there you have my first impression. We’ll definitely be going to see it again.

 

 

As an aside:

 

After Dead Pool, I do the *slappy hand* "Super hero landing. Super hero landing!" whenever one is obviously coming. So when she did the one all super slow one at the conclusion of the god-battle and it ends with some subtly dramatic (but quiet) music. I had a hard to hold in the ridiculous laughter that spurred.