Wonder of Wonders

 

So we went and saw Wonder Woman on Tuesday, something my situational anxiety almost stopped because of a pre-screening of The Mummy at our theater. A giant clump of people right at the entrance (and a line extending all the way through the courtyard and into the shopping center) almost had me turning on my heel and walking back home. But we had time for a margarita before hand, so that helped. And we watched it.

 

In a packed theater.

 

On a Tuesday.

 

Why are so many people at the theater on a Tuesday?

 

Small note, unrelated to the film itself: I hate when there’s more than 10 other people in a theater. You will inevitably have a talker, someone who can’t be bothered to turn their phone off… and worst of all: a clapper.

 

Clappers make me long for the days when chopping off hands was an acceptable punishment.

 

Now, onto my thoughts on the film:

 

Despite a dearth of advertising (at least I saw next to none), I have been incredibly excited about this movie from the moment WW dropped into the BvS trailer. (Also, did you notice she did that in this movie too? Pretty sure these guys needed her help more.) So I’m happy to say that I enjoyed this venture in the DC universe immensely.

 

Gal Gadot is a goddess. DC does not deserve her. Hell, we don’t deserve her. The difference between her character in this film and the one in BvS is a little startling. And I respect her as an actor so much for that. She portrays the slowly disillusioned young woman so well in this film that it’s almost hard to remember that she pragmatic and almost indifferent to our world in the previous appearance. If everything I’ve read so far is true, I will forever remain in awe of her.

 

The reversal of the stereotypical H/h arc was a treat. And I was very happy with (not captain america) Steve’s ability to adapt and stop trying to protect her when she clearly didn’t need it. Also, that he did so quickly

 

Not. All. White. Men. I loved the POC peppered into the background as well as those in the main group. They were there. You could not miss them. Historical fiction (in both film and books) in this country tend to give the illusion that POC did not really exist in early eras and it is asinine. (Though Chief did not make up for the blatant “disposable-ness” of Slipknot in Suicide Squad. I don’t care that it’s basically how he dies in the comics, it was an obvious kill, lazy bastards.)

 

Themyscira was lovely and gorgeous and I want a whole movie set there with all those awesome Amazonians doing Amazon-y things. Robin Wright *swoon* was marvelous and the beauty in the sheer amount of strength in that part of the cast made me incredibly happy. The only issue… I think they could have used a teensy bit more of their CGI budget on Hippolyta twist-jumping off her horse, because that was BAD. I snort-laughed.

 

Dr. Maru. Dr. Maru. Dr. Maru. A brilliant mind, influenced by a god, with the power to kill millions. I am infatuated with her as a character. If it wasn’t fiction… I’d be very worried that she’s not dealt with at the end of this film. But since it is… if they make a sequel I want her to come back so hard. Hopefully with a redemption arc. (But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t have it be another Cap ripoff and wind up with something like Zola) I love her drive, her perfectionism and her compulsion to complete what she’s started.

 

But everything has it’s own problems….

 

Ares was rolled up in one great and depressing ball of blah. He was great, because I did not suspect him. Always fantastic. But even when he went full god-mode, there was nothing really scary about him. There was a disconnect for me. His intentions didn’t feel deep enough for a god of war. But maybe that’s because so often, inhuman villains are unable to live up to the depravity of what humans themselves can create.

 

My friend Mr. Bray called him “the Junkyard God” and while that moniker takes me immediately to Hephaestus the scrappy nonsense of his armor gives no room for argument on that front. Here he is trying to seduce her over to his side and he can’t even conjure up the illusion of some bennies? The Amazons, for all that they are a warrior people, appreciate beauty. They’ve surrounded themselves by it. The first thing Diana remarks on when they arrive in London is how disgusting it is (and rightly so). And that might have helped my last point too. Evil is twice as scary when it comes to you with beauty, serenity, and seeming innocence.

 

Diana borders on the Born Sexy Yesterday trope.  And while her lack of situational intelligence is a product of the Amazon’s removal from the ever changing world, but also the ignorance her mother forced on her. (“Protecting” people by withholding information about themselves makes me so mad.) The only thing that saves this for me, is that her cultural misunderstandings are largely attributed to her common sense and commitment to justice.

 

Steve is not a sexy name (sorry if you were saddled with it). There’s no way to make screaming Steve at the heavens worthy of the passionate “this mortal I was falling in love with just died” they were going for. Also, I know it’s specific to the comics but couldn’t they have found another name? Steve-played-by-Chris was the first of the too-close-to-Cap story elements that bugged me. In fact….

 

Someone needs to take Zach Snyder aside (and yes, Allan Heinberg and Jason Fuchs, but at this point, I’m willing to blame Snyder for all of it) and ask them if it never occurred to them that setting the story in WWI instead of WWII wouldn’t fool anyone when they got to the “HUGE PLANE FILLED WITH BOMBS IS THE FUTURE” moment, or the “Sacrificial Steve” moment. There was no reason for this to suddenly feel like a Captain America ripoff. You are better than that. Wonder Woman deserved better than that.

 

 

And there you have my first impression. We’ll definitely be going to see it again.

 

 

As an aside:

 

After Dead Pool, I do the *slappy hand* "Super hero landing. Super hero landing!" whenever one is obviously coming. So when she did the one all super slow one at the conclusion of the god-battle and it ends with some subtly dramatic (but quiet) music. I had a hard to hold in the ridiculous laughter that spurred.

Figured Out How To Describe One Of My Many Problems With Iron Fist.

I've figured out that the intro credits for Iron Fist are a perfect mirror of the problems I have with the show itself.

 

 

The imagery is really interesting. It’s flowy and eye catching. But, it's monotone and the palate is lack luster.

The music choice is really interesting, almost on a Daft Punk does Tron level… but it's the super slow portions of Tron and there's little to no depth to it.

The real problem lies in the fact that the imagery and audio do not work together.

Bits and pieces of the show are interesting but when you put the whole thing together... it doesn’t meet with the expectation built by Daredevil, Jessica Jones, and Luke Cage.

The Amazing Spider-man

When Peter Parker discovers his father’s old briefcase, and within it, clues to the research he’d done before his untimely death, curiosity takes him to Ozcorp to find the scientist who worked with him. In his explorations though, he’s bitten by a genetically modified spider, and things… well, things go awry, as they usually do in that sort of instance.

My Thoughts:

Snarky Spidey is what I remember and love as a child of the 90s who watched the cartoon. I appreciate that he’s quiet and seemingly mild mannered without the suit on, but slowly comes out of his shell as the film went on. I did love the direct references and nods to the comic/cartoon. They were complete fan service and I loved every second of it.

Pony Boy! What are you doing on a bridge in NYC? (and thank you for not continuing to dye your hair blond.

The character of Flash kept confusing me, for the simple fact of his name. I kept thinking, tie in to another film, and then remembering that the Flash was from DC and so that would have been an impossible crossover. It was mildly distracting.

Denis Leary is wonderful as Captain Stacy. It felt rather removed from what I’m used to seeing him in, and that was wonderful. And I totally believed him as Emma Stone’s father – and as the daughter of a police officer, I felt like his portrayal was completely spot on.

The funniest part of the movie was when the Lizard shows up at the high school, and Spidey’s just managed to do a full wrap on him to keep him contained for a moment, and he tells Gwen he’s going to throw her out the window. Her reaction (to his words and subsequently being thrown out the window) were hilarious.

I had a problem with the fact that the quest to find Uncle Ben’s Killer is completely forgotten. It’s one of those things, where I know that in real life, you do sometimes set aside something that consumed you for something else, but it felt like a total let down when there was no mention of it after the bridge scene.

One thing that I really appricate about the Lizard as a villain is that his initial motivations are good. He wants to cure people, he wants to help them, but because of corporate greed (and perhaps a bit of inevitable mortality) he’s pushed to do something radical, and then he begins a slow spiral into madness. It’s a classic case of good guy gone bad. However, in that vein, it bothers me that after the bridge scene, the corporate guy disappears from the movie’s plot.