Warehouse 13 Season 4, Episode 8: Second Chance

Pete and Myka try to track down an artifact that’s causing Mill workers lungs to begin to rust, and their suspects bounce from the Mill owner, to the Union President, to a War Veteran.

Jinks and Claudia head to his home, using Shubert’s journal to try to pull him off the metronome. But a reunion with his mother reignites the anger and loss he feels over his sister’s murder.

Artie is confronted by Mrs. Fredrick, H. G. Wells, and Leena about the Astrolabe and he spills his guts. The three women enact a plan to help Artie and to potentially save him from himself.

Artifacts in this Episode:

Shrapnel from a piece of Spartan Armor – A shard of the armor was embedded in a soldier’s chest –too close to his heart to remove– in moments of extreme emotion, it gives him the strength and defiance of the Spartan army, causing those in direct skin contact to contract an infection where the skin corrodes as though it’s rusting.

My thoughts:

All-Angst-All-The-Time-Jinks is an interesting creature. And the insight to his sister and how much her death hurts her almost seems like something that would make him shy away from Claudia, and the daily reminder she must be. Also Uber happy Claudia is strange as well. Some of her Cheshire grins bordered on looking like she was peeing her pants. Overall, the B storyline was a cute one and it was definitely nice to tie up that loose end.

Pete getting the crap beat out of him was rather endearing. He’s certainly not the trimmest slim jim in the pack, but he held his own when he needed too, which is nice – though I’d assume that the power in that punch would be enough to knock someone out (no glass jaw required).

The part of the episode wherein Myka realizes she has to inject Cody with the goo, is terribly funny. And I always appreciate how this show manages to make deathly situations funny, without being trite.

I would like to formally thank Mrs. Frederick for voicing WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING ALL ALONG! And then move on. Seriously love the way the “keeping things from people” has transferred from Artie to Mrs. Frederick and the girls. I think it’ll be nice to have the opportunity for more Leena and H. G. time.

Warehouse 13 Season 4, Episode 7: Endless Wonder

Pete and Myka are in South Bend Indiana, where people have been getting inexplicably taller. They’re joined by a pharmaceutical rep with ambitions to use the secrets she knows they possess to end pain and strife through medical cures. But as they discover the effects have nothing to do with their heartburn medication, Pete tries to cut her loose. She gets the upper hand on them, appropriating the full stock of supplies from cooking school Pete and Myka think is the source, and while Myka goes to retrieve the artifact, Pete has to convince their pharma friend that more harm than good will come of exposing the warehouse.

Claudia and Jinks join Artie as they try to hunt down Brother Adrian and track him to an abandoned house, where Adrian leaves a booby-trap for Gidget and the Boy wonder and promises Artie that he will destroy everyone the old warehouse agent has ever come to love. As they manage to survive his attack, Claudia and Jinks get a hold of the artifact he’s been using to infiltrate the Warehouse and Artie forbids them from further involvement.

Artifacts in this Episode:
Threshold of Limentus – Wooden plank with roman writing on it, creates an opening when placed against a wall.

Harriet Tubman’s Thimble – Allows the wearer to take on the appearance of whomever they wish.

Gold Spike – used to join the trans-continental railroad, it pulls things together.

“Rhodes” Marble Bowl  - carved from stone from the Colossus of Rhodes, the bowl causes excessive growth in those who touch it. Leading to excessive pain as the body pulls itself apart.

 My Thoughts:

First, let me say OUCH. The growth spurt aspect of this episode leaves me feeling a bit wonky as I test my joints to make sure nothing’s gone awry.

This “main artifact” is one of those that I just don’t get the connection to. Sure the statue was huge… but I don’t really see why it would embiggen those who come into contact with a piece of it. Even considering its downfall, I don’t see the connection.

Dear Artie, a) never tell Claudia she can’t do something, it will make her want to do it more; b) if she gives up that easily…. you’re screwed. Why don’t you know this by now?

It was enjoyable to see the “creation of a regent” as we all know how Pete and Myka ended up with the warehouse – so we’ve got the agent’s figured out, and now that we’ve seen an artifact be born, it’s nice to see the process by which a new regent is added.

Warehouse 13 Season 4, Episode 6: Fractures

Alice Lidell has found her way out of Lewis Carroll’s mirror once again and this time her sole focus is on hurting Artie. When she ambushes Artie while on a date with Vanessa, a well timed call from Pete and the reflection of a serving tray save his life. But Alice has figured out how to swap bodies and when she takes over those of the people Artie cares for most, it’s Jinks (and thereby Claudia) who end up bearing the brunt of the pain.

Artifacts in this Episode:

Lewis Carroll’s Mirror – When a person stands in front of the mirror and a bright flash of light is emitted, it allows the person trapped within the mirror to swap places with the soul of the person effected.

Abul-Fath Gilani’s Hookah – Draws a spirit out of their body and traps it within.

My Thoughts:

 This thought had more than a few “callable” moments but I don’t know that they made the episode any less enjoyable. The biggest was that Alice would body-hop into Vanessa and use her control over the love of Artie’s life to manipulate him.

I appreciate that they had a plan, and that plan went to complete shit. Because let’s face it, even the best laid traps can be circumvented, and we all know the last place Alice wants to go is back into that mirror.

I’m really glad the cat’s out of the bag with Claudia and Jinks, because a) he was going to get an ulcer, and b) she was going to get herself killed by being careless with his life, since he can’t die.

My end thought with this episode was ‘Good for you, Vanessa.’ because that girl should not have to put up with Artie going all wimpy on her. And really. He should have gone after her and given her the bell. I don’t care if you think your involvement is going to get her hurt, at least show her you care as you run away like a coward.

Warehouse 13 Season 4, Episod 5: No Pain, No Gain

When a Toronto hockey player displays amazing recuperative powers, Myka and Pete go to find out what artifact he’s got up his sleeve, but as their search turns its focus on his fans, Myka is suddenly (and ridiculously) pregnant, and it looks like the fan has intentions of forcing the player to love her.

Claudia joins Mrs. Fredrick for lunch, but witnesses the birth of an Artifact, as a woman saves a baby during a jewelry heist gone wrong. But reveals the downside of the warehouse caretaker’s longevity as they visit her grandson in a retirement home.

Steve and Artie track down a large cache of the missing items using the Hatfield gun to draw them to the McCoys’ and when he’s shot at, divulges the nature of the metronome’s effect on Claudia to Artie. Artie says he’ll handle telling the others about the breach, and Steve finds shipping material that suggests the cache does not hold all the artifacts that were stolen.

Artifacts in this Episode:

Emperor Jimmu’s Feather – Looking at the feather induces insanity and eventually death.

Primo Levi’s Scarf – Gives the wearer deep insight and heightens their intellect. Wearer is prone to extreme dizzy spells and susceptible to dangerous falls.

Hatfield and McCoy Rifles – The two rifles pull each other toward the other. Looking through the site of one will show you through the sight of the other. They will fire on each other if in visual range.

John Giltoy’s Dog Tags – Imbued with the will to make things happened after John helped his friend survive the Bataan Death March during WWII, they fulfill wishes for the holder directed toward the one they love.

My Thoughts:

This episode definitely has a “Misery” feel toward the end, as the crazed fan undoes her whish of healing on Mike’s knees, crippling him so he can’t run away.

Moments like the one where Myka ends up inexplicably pregnant are the reason this show is so funny. But on that note, I do not think that Pete and Myka should ever get romantic or procreate.

I really appreciate the appearance of Timothy Omundson (Psych). He’s got the “I’m suspicious” look down, deflecting suspicion on him quite easily. I do love characters that evoke a specific feeling (Weasely, or that seem to scream “I’M THE BAD GUY” at you and then aren’t – well, at least not as much as you might have thought.)

Jinks secret is unraveling very quickly, and I like that his secret’s revelation and Arties are so closely entwined… not because they’re caused or effected by the other… but because deceit is a sticky web that tangles more easily than we’d like.

Warehouse 13 Season 4, Episode 4: There’s Always A Downside

Pete and Claudia head to a preparatory academy where Hugo Miller’s nephew has loaned out four of Bobby Fischer’s Marbles as the school’s Academic Olympics draws near to help their team win. The disastrous side effects lead toward a possible massacre of the entire student body.

Myka and Jinks head to New Orleans where a Doctor’s patients have miraculously recovered from their traumas – seemingly overnight. Their investigation leads them to a jazz club, and a very troubled young man.

Artie, back in univille all alone, deals with the continued annoyance of Brother Adrian, and finally admits to using the astrolabe and refuses to set things right. Adrian leaves, but not before warning Artie that things are already set in motion.

Artifacts in this Episode:

Bobby Fischer’s Bag of Marbles – gives a person incredible focus, concentration and a drive to achieve any goal set. The drive will eventually turn violent. Also, apparently, causes veins to darken to black and causes the body enough stress that it will send the affected person into cardiac arrest or stroke.

Scott Joplin’s Cigarette Case – By touching it and another person, allows for pain transfer. Emotional pain is transferred to the case’s holder in the form of physical pain. Absorbing too much pain will result in death.

John Reiley “Jack” Duncan’s Spur (Fake) – Item tracks the movement of a person or object, but causes horses to be afraid of the user for several days after.

My Thoughts:

Let’s step back and wonder if maybe Brent Spiner’s Wrath is the “evil” Artie unleashed on the world. Maybe if the black diamond bros would take a breather and not be so uptight, maybe they’d realize this could end up being a self-fulfilling prophesy. Also, if they’re going to be stealing artifacts and leaving (what we have to assume are “real” black diamonds in the context of the show) Artie’s going to be pretty well off by the time he kicks it.

I called the Heather’s allusion pretty quickly, but I was still really pleased that it was there, especially when Claudia flat out calls each of the cheerleaders “Heather.”

I’m really pleased that they brought Hugo Miller back, even if it is for only for this one episode. His character adds a different side to the idea of what happens to a warehouse agent when their time at the warehouse is over – not everyone dies. His rather scatter brained delivery gives Claudia an opportunity to prove just how mature some of the past episodes’ events have forced her to become.

It should be interesting to see how the stolen artifacts develops… and what the point of that plan is. Presently, I’m not seeing much of a point, other than to cause a disruption and severe annoyance.

Warehouse 13 Season 4, Episode 3: Personal Effects

The contents of Syke’s artifacts cache are suspected to be in what appears to have been a safe house, when a cleaning lady winds up in a hospital with the symptoms of a bite from a south American spider… but no bite. When Pete and Myka arrive and find the crates empty, they realize the artifacts in question are on the loose in the town.

With the whole team in on the search, they must round up the missing artifacts the pawn dealer already sold and search for the final artifact – one the thief chose to keep.

What they find as they hunt down the artifacts is that the man, who’s escalated to robbing banks and armored trucks, is after, is a matter of life and death. But his little brother’s heart transplant is more than a matter of money- as they soon find out and the solution is a bigger sacrifice than the crew expected.

Artifacts in this Episode:

Richard E. Byrd’s Smoking Pipe – Controls the weather. When the user smokes the pipe it can call down any number of different weather-related things. In this episode – Tornadoe, snow, precise lightning strikes.

Boa Vista Plantation Token  - induces the symptoms of a bite from the theraphosa blondi spider when someone touches the token (with no spider bite present)

John A. Macready’s Ray-Bans – Reflect Light so well, the user becomes invisible when wearing them. Caveat: The wearer is not invisible on camera. Backlash – user will be blind for twice as long as they wore the glasses.

Napoleon Bonaparte’s Violin – Hitting a G-sharp would cause an entire town to erupt in a wave of violence. Other notes send glowing balls of energy careening out to destroy anything they collide with.

Bobby Jones’ Golf Clubs – Magnifies the user’s anger, resulting in violent rage at the merest annoyance.

Catherine O’Leary’s Cow Bell – Ringing the bell will cause a violent firestorm (Cause the Great Fire of London in 1666 and the Great Chicago Fire.)

Birdcage (unknown origin, perhaps Alfred Hitchcock’s?) – Causes all avian life around it to turn hostile.

(other, mentioned, but unused artifacts: A Clothes Iron, A mask, A Rubik’s Cube, & Headphones)

My Thoughts:

The three teams of two is a fun twist on the otherwise division in two. It’s nice to see Leena out of the B&B and getting some field time in. She’s a really interesting character, and I’d love for them to inject her into the action of the series more.

I’m interested to see where they go with the link between Claudia and Jinks. Shared pain is one thing, what happens if he receives a life ending blow? Or if they stop the metronome?

Personally, I think that a lightning strike would not be the way to kill yourself… if you intended for your heart to be a donor for your brother’s transplant. That bothered me. It still does. But I’m moving past that and hoping next week’s give us more to chew on with the season arc.

Warehouse 13 Season 4, Episode 2: An Evil Within

Pete and Myka head to Philadelphia where people are reporting mass hallucinations and attacking an individual who those hallucinations are projected on. When they find out who’s causing the hallucinations and why,  they have to question whether or not the man making others into monsters is a monster himself.

Back in Univille, Claudia, with the help of Jane Lattimer, brings Jinks back to life with the use of Johann Maelzel’s Metranome, but the consequences of their actions have yet to be uncovered. And Artie’s decision to change the past and save the warehouse and his friends haunts him further.

Artifacts in this Episode:

H P Lovecraft’s Silver Key – Anyone who touches the key is seen as a horrific monster, terrifying those around them to madness, and putting their life in danger.

My Thoughts:

I liked how they shot the “monsters.” I’m not sure if they did this specifically for the artistic value of creating a realistic moment of disorientation that would come from being freaked out by a hallucination, or if they realized it would save them money on their special effects budget, but I really enjoyed the piecemeal shots, and not getting a clear picture of what the “thing” looked like.

The secondary arcs, with Jinks’ resurrection and Artie’s further decent into his fervent madness over the potential harm he’s done with the astrolabe, have me waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m not sure when, or how, but I have a feeling they’re both going to end in disaster.

Warehouse 13 Season 4, Episode 1: A New Hope

July 23, 2012

With the warehouse destroyed, Jinks, H G, and Mrs. Fredric dead, and pandora’s box broken open (quite literally) the world is plunged into despair as there is no hope left in the world. With the use of the pocket watch James Macpherson left behind, the agents must travel to France and then the Vatican, and sacrifice even more to put things right again.

Artifacts in this Episode:

Duarte Barbosa’s Pocket Watch (Formerly thought of as James Macpherson’s) – A stopwatch that counts down the time in which Magellan’s astrolabe can be used, also a guide to the astrolabe’s pieces.

Pithos/Pandora’s Box – Contained hope, and as it is destroyed, so is hope destroyed.

Ferdinand Magellan’s Astrolabe – Erases time for 24 hours. Comes with an evil of their own creation that will follow the user the rest of their life.

Mahatma Ghandi’s Dhoti – Woven during Ghandi’s fast for non-violence, the garment is embued with pure peace.

My Thoughts:

I’m so happy they came up with something useful for that dang football. It was cute in the beginning and then it sort of got lost for me and I’m just tickled that it came back with a bigger purpose. Why they’d decide to use a football that circumnavigates the world as an artifact tracker, I don’t know, but I do find it quite wonderful.

There’s really no threat with this episode… I mean, it’s the first episode in the new series, so you know that everyone who dies in it is going to come back to life thanks to the astrolabe… I mean, they kill off Pete for christ’s sake. The guy who sees the world going to pieces and still has time to make jokes about Artie singing his fur.

Brent Spiner’s character was obviously going to reappear at some point. He’s too big of a name in the geek-verse to have on screen for a minute and a half and then be done with it. So I was waiting for him to pop back up.

Mirror, Mirror

 Mirror, Mirror



Source



 Why I saw it: Okay, so, I don’t like Julia Roberts, she bugs me and the second I saw that Nathan Lane was in the cast, I knew what sort of a movie it was going to be… but I still went and saw it because I love Tarsem. I knew my eyes would be in for a visual candy fest.

Source

What I thought: While it was not the best adaptation of the story I’ve seen, I found it enjoyable enough… and the random bollywood number during the credits is just wacky to bump the movie up a little. There are a few moments of comedic gold, but other than that, I found the story straightforward. I don’t know if it’s this could be considered the worst take on Snow White I’ve seen… and as there are two more coming out shortly (One I’m wary of and one I’m actually kind of excited about) I think I’m going to save my judgment on this front. It followed the base guidelines of the story well enough and while I was not a fan of Army Hammer’s performance, Lilly Collins was decent enough. And I loved the Dwarves… but then, I always love the Dwarves. (I think it’s worth seeing if you like fairy tale adaptations – if you’re looking for something more a mix of this and the next item on the list consider Snow White: A Tale of Terror with Sam Neil and Sigourney Weaver.

Run Time: 106 minutes

Buy The Film

The Three Musketeers (3D)

D’Artagnan sets out for Paris to become a Musketeer, but when he arrives, he finds himself on the wrong side of the Cardinal’s guards and teamed up with the as of now out of work Three Musketeers. When the Cardinal sets out a plot to frame the Queen for treason and take the reins of the country, D’Artagnan and the Three Musketeers are the only ones Her Majesty can trust to safely foil his plot.

My Thoughts:

What a great cast! I remember seeing the previews/lead up to this movie and thinking: Ray Stevenson! Milla Jovovich! Matthew MacFadyen! Christoph Waltz! It was one of the main things that made me want to watch the movie, and then, watching it, I was met with more: Mads Mickelson! James Corden! (I was less excited about Orlando Bloom)

And the steampunk element made me doubly excited to see the film, though it’s not quite as steampunky as I was hoping for. I do wish they would have played that up more than they did especially since the original plot line is not deviated from much.

The Hair in this film is pretty tragic. Luke Evens is too greasy for his own good, Logan Lerman either had a very bad wig or the cut has to have been a mistake that they rolled with. Orlando Bloom’s Pompadour/fauxhawk…. I just don’t even know where to go with that one. As a whole the hair was rather distracting.  

I loved that directly after the Queen’s power in a game of Chess is expounded upon, the real-life similarities are shown. And that leads to the beginning of just how adorable the King and Queen are together. I’m glad that they weren’t a large focus of the film, but the little glimpses of their relationship (as needed by the plot) were perfectly delightful.

I am glad that it wasn’t ridiculously 3D gimmicky. With the exception of a few things, noting felt purposefully thrown at the camera. In fact there were several moments where I thought they could have used that method of telling and not had a problem, but didn’t.

The lady in waiting tied to the figurehead did not seem realistic to me, for one thing, it was oddly shown on screen, for another it doesn’t seem like something that could realistically be done and undone in the air.

The fact that this movie left such an open ending bothers me. Since there is no sequel in sight, as far as I can tell, it’s depressing to have it so clearly setting up for one. And I don’t know how I feel about the fact Milady survives. Because herself sacrifice (albeit bluntly done in this film – the dialog after was too clunky) is a huge moment of character redemption that doesn’t seem like she should have survived.

Warhouse 13 Season 3, Episode 11 &1 2: Emily Lake/Stand

The reason for the Warehouse’s computer slowdown is discovered, and they realize Sykes was hacking into the grid to find something. But Pete’s mother won’t tell them what. In an act of defiance, Pete and Myka go to the address Claudia’s decrypted from the file and find H. G. Wells, but her memory has been completely wiped and she now thinks she’s Emily Lake, a high school English teacher.

Steve and the seemingly un-killable Marcus (pete throws him of a fifth floor balcony and the guy walks away from it) arrive and steal Emily Lake away from them.

The regents have stored her past consciousness in the Janus coin, and that Sykes can reunite H G to her body with the coin. They race to the regent vault (a grocery mart) and get the coin, where Pete realizes they have to destroy the coin to keep Sykes from getting her back together.

Pete’s attempt to destroy the coin is interrupted and Jinks chases after Claudia – seemingly intent on killing her – to retrieve the coin. Claudia finds out that Jinks is actually undercover, working for the Warehouse to discover Sykes’ end game.

Unfortunately, Jinks dies when Sykes has him injected with something to make it look like a heart attack. And Pete and Myka have to get past their grief and head to Hong Kong to find the regent Sanctum.

Using the riding crop to control  H G, Sykes gets the door between the warehouse and the sanctum open and goes through, controlling pete, he gets the colloid bracelet again. He’s  killed as he chases Pete’s mother through the portal back to the sanctum and they find a bomb in his wheelchair.

Artifacts in these Episodes:

James MacPherson’s Pocket Watch – (Unknown at this point)

Tyler Struhl’s Nanites – Miniscule, self-replicating robots used to hack into the Warhouse computers.

Janus Coin – Tears a person’s psyche in two, removing the past and leaving the mind available to a new future.

Cecil B. DeMille’s Riding Crop – Gives the user control over another’s actions. Forecefully imposes the user’s will on the victim. (Does not affect their mind)

Chaturanga’s Chess Lock – An impossible puzzle that serves as the only way to open the door between the regent’s sanctum and the Warehouse.

Black Barty’s Cannon – The cannonball fired from this cannon has an augmented amount of firepower.

Collodi Bracelet – Give’s the wearer control over their body, but plants a seed of darkness in them.

Pulley Block from the Mary Celeste – The rope attacks and strangles anyone who touches it, tightening if you pull at it.

Johann Maelzel’s Metronome – the beat is capable of resurrecting the dead and keeping them alive, so long as the metronome still beats.

Piece of Masonry from House of Commons – Imbued with the concussive force of the Blitzkrieg, when attached to a bomb, it is essentially an Artifact Nuclear Device.

My thoughts:

Not an artifact, but really cool looking: The Tesla Rifle!

Just because Marcus’s heart is kept beating by a metronome… doesn’t mean he should be able to heal broken bones like they’re nothing. That doesn’t follow for me – he shouldn’t have walked away from that drop, crawled, maybe.

I want more of the Pete Cave, also, when did Pete get a Castle Murder Board?

There are a lot of things that felt rushed in these episodes, but as an end to the season, I wasn’t disappointed. It certainly went out with a bang.

Welcome to the cliff hanger: With the warehouse destroyed and so many of the principle cast going with it, we can only assume that the first episode of Season 4 will reverse the effects somehow.

Warehouse 13 Season 3, Episode 10: Insatiable

Ithaca New York may be the breeding grounds of a zombie plague. As Myka and Pete race of to find the artifact causing it, Claudia deals with her grief at Steve’s departure, meets a new boy and has a run in with an artifact in the warehouse that predicts her death. Burned by the department, Jinks finds himself in a bar, unable to pay his tab, and is helped by Marcus Diamond who offers him a chance at revenge on Mrs. Fredric and the Warehouse.

Artifacts shown in this episode:

Sallah The Soothsaying Sultan – A fortune telling booth that hypnotizes the person affected and leaves them with feelins of extreme dread. Actively ingorning the predictions counteracts them.

Albert Butz’s Eyeglasses – Once worn by the inventor of the thermostat, the glasses raise a person’s body temperature.

Eau de Vie Faucet – Water engulfs the nearest living person, drowning them (if counteracted, leaves the individual completely Dry. Counteracted by electric shock, as Leena snaps the water and deactivates it.

Donner Party Jar – Putting money in the jar causes you to experience the same conditions as those unfortunate souls in the Donner party, namely freezing to death and cannibalistic urges.

My Thoughts:

This whole Jinks going over to the dark side plot line is strange. I don’t like it. It doesn’t feel like something his character would do, and that bothers me. I’m sure it’ll have a underlying point as the season progresses, but I’m still a little thrown by it.

For someone as freaked out about Zombies… Pete jumps to some conclusions pretty fast. I mean, as a person who lives in a house with well over 80 zombie flicks, I wansn’t sure why he was so hell bent on the Zombie tract, but whatever.

The burrito truck as the source was pretty obvious, but that might just be me, and I called the Tip jar as soon as Myka started to show the side effects. I’m not sure why, at one point, Pete says everyone effected is too far gone to talk… since Myka is standing right there, able to talk. And it’d make a lot more sense to have back tracked her first.

Warehouse 13 Season 3, Episode 6: Don’t Hate the Player

Fargo (from Eureka) has used an artifact to get around a hiccup in the immersive game system he and two others are attempting to create and market. During Beta testing, they’ve drank from Beatrix Potter’s Tea Set and have found themselves trapped in the game by their own nightmares.

Meanwhile, Jinks and Artie are off to retrieve a lost Van Gogh, oddly, with the help of Sally Stukowski. In their attempt to break in and steal the painting, they’re caught by Sally, who helps them, though on more than one occasion, it seems that she’s not on their side.

Artifacts in this Episode:

Beatrix Potter’s Tea Set – Drinking tea brewed in the pot stimulates the percuneous section of the brain and the effected person’s imagination will augment and they will then live out their worst fear.

Vincent Van Gogh’s A Stormy Night (Missing Painting) – when wind (or in this case a sneeze) hits the painting, the storm depicted there comes to life and gale-force winds emanate from the painting.

Memory Paper – From Johannes Gutenberg’s printing press, this paper creates a perfect replica of whatever is needed.

My Thoughts:

I appreciate that Gladiator Pete didn’t really have much to do. The game itself – with the added Beatrix-iness wasn’t about crazy sword fighting, it was about evoking thought, which, I enjoyed.

Claudia was of course a treat, her emotional range was so wide in this episode (ranging from ditzy princess in Fargo’s game-version of her, to freaked out Mental patient) and it didn’t once feel forced.

I would have liked for there to have been a bigger influence from Eureka on the world of the in-game warehouse, and I feel like the story was written for an early-season version of Fargo. Which is to say, I would have liked for the crossover to take into account where Eureka was in relation to the story line taking place in Warehouse, (since Fargo grew so much in that series and this season aired after the series was wrapped up.)

Conan the Barbarian

Overall:  

You couldn’t really go downhill from the Arnold version, and this one didn’t it’s decently done for a story where the initial source material had as much intelligible dialog as a conversation between infants.

What I liked:

The matte paintings of the cities were pretty freaking gorgeous. I’m a sucker for beautifully done cityscapes, I won’t lie. These places are rough and tumble and I’d likely end up someone’s slave in a little over three minutes, but I still want to go there because they are gorgeous (granted, I’m sure they smell awful).

The sand men were a pretty cool take on a concept that could have come across as tired and worn. They were just unique enough to keep me from being bored with them. I think I would have liked for them to be a bit bigger of a plot device though, not just that one scene.

Rose McGowan’s character was a perfect mix of “I want to please daddy” and creep factor. I’m not sure why, but I have a feeling that might be all she’s going to be good at anymore. It worked for her in this film, and I think it would serve her well to seek out more of this type of roll.

The Problems:

Some of the dialog came across SUUUUUUUUUUUUPER stilted. I realize that they didn’t have contractions back in the day that this sort of thing is set in, and part of it was delivery on the actor’s parts. But it wasn’t awful, just caught me up occasionally.

I felt like it needed more time to tell the story in, as it was it felt rushed for as grand a tale as it is. I think that, had they had a little more time, this movie could have been immensely better.

Other, random thoughts:

Am I the only one who noticed an odd number of Game of Thrones parallels? Conan is Drogo, Artus is Xaro Xhoan Daxos, and Someone dies with molten metal poured over their head… and there are other things that I’m forgetting as I write this… I’ll come back and update once I remember them.

Runtime: 113 minutes

Buy the Film

True Grit

Directors: Ethan Coen & Joel Coen

Writers: Charles Portis (novel), Ethan & Joel Coen (Screenplay)

Starring: Jeff Bridges, Hailee Steinfeld, & Matt Damon
Other notable Cast: Josh Brolin, Barry pepper, Dakin Matthews
Budget: $38,000,000 (estimated)

I’m generally not a fan of remakes or novel adaptations. But that’s usually because I’ve already seen the original or I’ve read the novel and the remakes/adaptations rarely add up. As I had not seen the original version, I wasn’t viewing the movie with a pre-formed bias.

The Good:

Jeff Bridges as Rooster Cogburn – I think every time I laughed in this movie was because of a line this character spat. He’s severely flawed and incredibly relatable.

The animosity between the Marshalls – You have a lot of reasons for these two characters to belly-ache at eachother. One fought for the North, one fought for the confederacy. There’s the whole “I’m from Texas” mentality and then of course you have the old dog vs. the young whippersnapper. Their spats are priceless.

Josh Brolin as Tom Chaney – We don’t get to see Mr. Chaney for long, but he’s definitely a memorable character. Brolin makes you hate him within moments of meeting him, and what more do you want from a murdering scumbag?

The Bad:

Mr. Le Boeuf – Ka-reep-y. Guy comes off very strongly as a creeper with his first lines. I know it was different back then, but Mattie is 14… and the first scene in which she encounters the Texas Marshall was very much a set-up for a romantic relationship.

The Blue Screen at the end – Oh, it was horrible. When I see things like that in a movie (especially one with a budget like this one had) I wonder why no one took the time to do anything about it.

Voice over & ending sequences – I never enjoy voice over narration in these sorts of films. It always seems out of place.

The Final Verdict: Definitely see it. It will certainly have you running the full gamut of emotions.

Run time: 110 Minutes

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Tron: Legacy

Director: Joseph Kosinski

Writers: Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz

Starring: Jeff Bridges, Garret Helund, Olivia Wilde

Other notable Cast: Michael Sheen, Daft Punk, Cillian Murphey (uncredited)

Budget: An estimated $300 million (unconfirmed)

The Good:

The updated Grid – is pretty cool, it’s definitely less offensive to the eyes than the original version. (I want to live there)

Michael Sheen – His character was a complete surprise to me (after we saw it I went home and two minutes after we turned on the TV, there was a trailer with him in it, I was flummoxed). I’m not sure he was going for this, but he was channeling David Bowie hard core, and I loved every minute of it.

Homage to the original – The little things tickled me, like the blue water stuff from the first one, it was there, but no one said “Look! Here’s that blue stuff from the first one!” (It’s the little things I really enjoy.)

The Bad:

CGI on 1989 Flynn – I can forgive anything that looks computer generated inside the grid. Anything at all, because you’re supposed to be inside the computer… but the graphics on Flynn’s face when he’s supposed to be out of the computer in 89 are completely silly.

Cillian Murphey’s super short cameo – this leads into what I can only assume is the third series in the franchise. I hate that, but as far as ways to do it, this wasn’t one of the worse ways to do it.

The Vintage Lightcycle – only makes a brief appearance. They should have worked with that more.

Run Time: 125 Minutes

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