The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

A hobbit falls into place as an unlikely burglar in a plot to reclaim a dwarf’s mountain kingdom from a gold besotted dragon.

Summary:

Bilbo baggins is minding his own business, smoking his pipe weed and enjoying the solitude of his hole – as hobbits are want to do – when Gandalf the Grey, an old acquaintance, comes to call and provides him with the proposal of an adventure. Though Bilbo refuses, rushing to hide in his home, a wizard is not turned away so lightly. A host of dwarves arrive that night and quickly liberate everything they can find from his larder as Bilbo stands by helplessly fearing this seemingly slovenly pack of bearded mongrels don’t break too terribly much. When Gandalf returns followed closely by the leader of the troupe, Bilbo is drafted into service as their burglar – though he has never burgled a thing in his life. He refuses them, but when he wakes in the morning to an empty house, he has a change of heart and finds himself on…. an unexpected journey.

My Thoughts:

I am really happy Peter Jackson directed this series as well as the LOTR series. While I do think it would have been incredible to see Guillermo Del Toro’s vision, all I ever think of when I hear his name is the faun from pan’s labyrinth and the long faced creatures with big eyes and scroll marks on their faces from Hellboy. And I can imagine the orcs transformation in to that end. As it is, I feel like the “feel” of these two separate (if connected) series allows us a continuity that might have been severely compromised with a different creative team at the helm. That being said, there were a few moments when I wondered if Jackson didn’t recycle some ideas.

The beginning sequence was a bit long for my liking. While I do appreciate the connection of the two series through this… prologue, of sorts, I don’t think half of it was necessary. For one thing, I don’t think we ever needed to know what Bilbo was doing when Frodo was waiting for Gandalf at the beginning of Fellowship. I found myself waiting for them to “just get on with it” when we came back to Bilbo at his desk again. To me, this part felt more like someone considered how they could cut apart the end six films and put them back together in a different way to sell yet another “cut” of the films.

James Nesbitt, James Nesbitt, James Nesbitt, James Nesbitt, James Nesbitt, James Nesbitt! I don’t remember when it was exactly that I was looking at the promotional picture with all the dwarves’ faces smooshed into one poster sized rectangle and realized Bofur was James Nesbitt. I’m certain it was not the first, and probably not the tenth – it does take a while to get over trying to pick apart what the Hell those prosthetics are doing to Rawrmitages incredibly sharp nose. It doesn’t really matter I suppose, but I saw that he was going to be a part of the series and I squeed aloud. James Nesbitt is an amazing actor – if you’ve seen Jekyll, you don’t need me to tell you that – and so I was immediately filled with equal parts joy and dread. Joy because YAY! JAMES NESBITT. Dread because what if he was lost among the collective dwarf dross? Happily, my dread was not founded. He has a much bigger part than I honestly anticipated and I assume that is because Peter Jackson recognized what they had in him.

If something bothered me most about the costume choices in this film, it was Radagast the Brown’s bird poop ‘do. I know he’s all about the animals and what not, and that’s totally okay, but having bird poop run down the side of your face is disgusting and unhygienic to boot.  I think that part of my issue with it is that no one seemed to have issue with it, that Radagast – while I understand he was preoccupied with necromancers and bad things in his forest – never once realized he had something on his face (it looked like it had been accumulating for quite a while) and tried to chip it off. Perhaps I’m more focused on him because I don’t want to think about the giant spiders.

When it comes to the Goblin King sequence I’m kind of on the fence as to how I feel about it. For one thing, I love him and his weird tumor jowl. Whoever designed him did an amazing job and while he was obviously CGI, I was too enthralled with being appalled to notice. I do have a problem with the goblin chase scene as it felt a little like a rehashing of the escape from Moria scene in Fellowship. But I am happy we got to see what goes on with the dwarves while Bilbo is dealing with Gollum.

The discrepancies from the books actual plot bothered me. I’ll admit that in all probability my problems with the plot additions are not as bad as some peoples’. But then, I know myself well enough that I did not re-read the novel before I went and saw the movie. Adaptations are always necessary when converting books to movies (when converting anything to film, I suppose) so I do not generally take issue with changes. I do however, wonder how on earth Peter Jackson pulled and pinched and prodded enough out of Tolkien’s world to turn a children’s story into a three movie epic.

I have other thoughts (Regarding things like Lee Pace’s costuming, and the rendering of Smaug) but I’ll save them for my review of the second in this trilogy.

Skyfall

When a thief gets away with a list of undercover operatives in the middle east and Bond is shot by another agent, the ministry is left in a painful spot. An explosion at MI-6 brings bond back to London and M sends him out to find the computer mastermind who’d hacked their systems and has the list before he can sell it.

My Thoughts:

*Raises hand* I have a question. What is the point of the building in Shanghai where the floors are a maze of glass walls reflecting the psychedelic adverts and light show out the window? Is it just an homage to the bond opening sequences we’re all so used to? It seemed as though that building was there just to be used as a sniper’s vantage.

In all honesty, I have not spent much time watching Javier Bardem’s films. I do not seek them out. But he does have a gift for playing the criminally insane. Also, he seems to like parts that require him to adopt a gross hairstyle. The Cyanide (almost Gollum-like) face transformation was strange. It left me wondering what sort of dental implant would also hold up his skin and why removing it would make the surface of his cheek look suddenly stringy.

When Silva kills Severine and Bond does little to nothing for her, it kills emotional resonance with Bond. Especially the way Craig played it. There is no remorse, no sorry. Bond is apathetic to her death. Something that makes him all the more callous for the shower scene minutes earlier. In essence, it show’s Bond treating her exactly the same way everyone else is treating her: as a whore.

The introduction of the new Q was fun. I enjoyed the less than socially adept, but not completely bumbling around a legendary agent approach they took with his first meeting with bond. Sadly though, I felt that he quickly turned to a cocky little snipe. Which I suppose is what we all expected from him. I would have appreciated a different go. One where he’s brilliant because he respects the system, not because he’s never run up against a wall that made him step back and wonder if maybe he isn’t the biggest fish. And, I wish they wouldn’t have done the cliché “hooking up the comp/letting him in thereby ‘out’” thing. It feels remarkably over done, and a little lazy.

It’s a damn good thing they sold the house.

I have always found underwater fights in film to be unrealistic. It’s like when characters shoot a car until it blows up (though that effect in this film I was willing to over look, because who knows what incendiary devices were in that car) it’s a Hollywood contrivance. Bond  might have been able to kill that dude underwater and then be totally peachy for air under normal circumstances, but we’ve already addressed that he’s not at top shape. So I don’t think it’s realistic to think he’d be able to swim back down and find the flare gun to get himself out. (Also, why isn’t he shivering to death after he gets out? It’s cold enough that breath is a big white cloud, he should be FREEZING.

I was very happy to see Judi Dench in an augmented roll. I t certainly made what was going to happen more obvious, and I’m sad to see her go, but I am glad we got so much of her in this film

Moneypenny and the new “M” were rather predictable. I believe I called it as soon as Eve mentioned she’d be helping Mallory. Let’s be honest, Ralph Fiennes is too big a name to be relegated to a lowly role.  It almost feels as though they’re trying to connect things up to the Connery Bond films?

The Three Musketeers (3D)

D’Artagnan sets out for Paris to become a Musketeer, but when he arrives, he finds himself on the wrong side of the Cardinal’s guards and teamed up with the as of now out of work Three Musketeers. When the Cardinal sets out a plot to frame the Queen for treason and take the reins of the country, D’Artagnan and the Three Musketeers are the only ones Her Majesty can trust to safely foil his plot.

My Thoughts:

What a great cast! I remember seeing the previews/lead up to this movie and thinking: Ray Stevenson! Milla Jovovich! Matthew MacFadyen! Christoph Waltz! It was one of the main things that made me want to watch the movie, and then, watching it, I was met with more: Mads Mickelson! James Corden! (I was less excited about Orlando Bloom)

And the steampunk element made me doubly excited to see the film, though it’s not quite as steampunky as I was hoping for. I do wish they would have played that up more than they did especially since the original plot line is not deviated from much.

The Hair in this film is pretty tragic. Luke Evens is too greasy for his own good, Logan Lerman either had a very bad wig or the cut has to have been a mistake that they rolled with. Orlando Bloom’s Pompadour/fauxhawk…. I just don’t even know where to go with that one. As a whole the hair was rather distracting.  

I loved that directly after the Queen’s power in a game of Chess is expounded upon, the real-life similarities are shown. And that leads to the beginning of just how adorable the King and Queen are together. I’m glad that they weren’t a large focus of the film, but the little glimpses of their relationship (as needed by the plot) were perfectly delightful.

I am glad that it wasn’t ridiculously 3D gimmicky. With the exception of a few things, noting felt purposefully thrown at the camera. In fact there were several moments where I thought they could have used that method of telling and not had a problem, but didn’t.

The lady in waiting tied to the figurehead did not seem realistic to me, for one thing, it was oddly shown on screen, for another it doesn’t seem like something that could realistically be done and undone in the air.

The fact that this movie left such an open ending bothers me. Since there is no sequel in sight, as far as I can tell, it’s depressing to have it so clearly setting up for one. And I don’t know how I feel about the fact Milady survives. Because herself sacrifice (albeit bluntly done in this film – the dialog after was too clunky) is a huge moment of character redemption that doesn’t seem like she should have survived.

Blitz

When a killer goes on a spree targeting coppers, London’s least reputable detective, Tom Brant, is put on the case. While “The Blitz” seems to slip through his grasp at each turn, Brant realizes his focus is on his precinct and while he knows exactly who the killer is, his hands are tied by the very law he’s sworn to uphold.

The problems:

There were several points when Statham’s five o’clock shadow looked painted on. I’m not sure if they actually did airbrush it, or what, but it was distracting.

The introduction of the friend/partner whose wife has just died isn’t done very well. I didn’t even realize he was a copper until he shows up at the department wanting to get back to work.

Each time they said Barry Weiss’s name I immediately thought of Berry Weiss – the Leinenkuegel beer, and while I found that mildly amusing, I also found it a little distracting.

What I liked:

There's a part in Blitz where Statham's character passes out at his partner’s house and the next morning. He's like.... Did you interfere with me last night? (the partner being gay) and partner looks at him like, really? and says. "I held back". I found that part to be hilarious – mostly the look on the guy’s face. And I thought... I don't know that Statham is many gay men's type...  though really, what would I know about that?

I enjoyed that – in the end – Weiss set himself up so perfectly for his own demise.

Overall:

It’s not a great movie, by any means, but it’s decent enough. There are some very brutal moments, ones that make me glad I’ve not made anyone with a crowbar angry lately; though I do love the line about “A mix between hockey and murder.” And honestly, this movie has a really bad message, but if you ignore that, it’s a decent enough film.

Run Time: 97 minutes

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