There’s something special about a film that makes its way full circle to be entertaining though the awfulness.
Streaming services have made these things readily accessible. And have given we nerds who look for these things. the opportunity to sift through the infinite possibilities.
Netflix and Hulu are great for indie productions, and I’ve found HBO Go to be a perfect opportunity for those movies that I have to pause on and think: I totally forgot about that.
Sometimes the movies are even actually good, despite having a minimal budget, a no-name cast, and a terrible cover image.
Sometimes… the bad doesn’t fall into that perfect zone.
This last week, I stumbled upon Babylon A.D. in the long string of HBO Go offerings. And it was one of those instances of “Hey, I totally forgot about that film.”
Having now watched it… I rather wish I’d continued to forget about it.
It wasn’t enough.
I’ve read a lot of random things about Vin Diesel’s acting (more specifically about the director’s negative views) and I have to tell you. Wooden acting was not the biggest problem here. If it was a simple matter of bad acting Mark Strong’s* part shouldn’t have been just as painful.
The heavy gloom of the bits in Russia and the startling normalcy of the North American settings were too disparate without something in between other than a submarine and snow. The wide pan glitter of America didn’t make sense with the close-up view. It tried to go in two different directions and didn’t make it quite far enough in either.
The adaptation of the novel is utter nonsense. The dialog was telling. The plot overly predictable. And the ending was beyond eye-roll-worthy.
TL;DR - Babylon A.D isn't even worth watching for the novelty.
*Can we take a moment and talk about Mark Strong’s hair? Where did it come from? Where did it go? I had severe Jason Statham in London flashbacks.
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