In Which Jenna Is Shown For The Bee-otch She Is!

22. Write a letter to someone who's hurt you recently.

Dear “friend,”


I hurt you? You obviously have things backwards. You are the one who has hurt me! You delusional hussy! I have no problem with your life partner, regardless of his choices to pierce or not pierce any part of his body. My only issue with him is that he is constantly trying to pull you away from me, and we all know how needy I am. You do at least. We have a verbal agreement! Or have you forgotten that while you were making up these horrible things.

As for your assertion that I am the one who has ruined your movie watching experience. I only text or talk throughout the movies, because you have dreadful taste in them. Seriously, who needs another cheerleader movie? Not I.

Speaking of delusions! “That time in high school,” are you kidding me…. As if I would have ever hung out with a cheerleader in high school. I avoided your types like the plague. My art was too precious to have it sullied by your popularity! So I think you’re battiness is showing here. If I did go to PCG with you, you must obviously have offered to pay. I am not the kind who walks out on a tab and I have never once drank six vodka martinis. In fact. I hate martinis. You’re obviously mistaken.

As for your wedding. The minister deserved to be flipped off. He was obviously trying to peak up my skirt. And frankly, my objection was completely founded. You are a bitch and he didn’t know it til I told him. The fact that he chose to marry you anyway is on him. The wine… oh, that dreadful wine. I didn’t think it was a Greek wedding. That wine was so awful I had to save anyone else from it, so I smashed the bottle to save others the pain. Frankly the scar you received from that shard that hit you in the face is quite appealing. Scars add character (heaven knows you needed it).

You suck,

Amy